Tattooed Emotions Read online

  Without delay, I reached the door and whipped it open where I immediately saw Cale sitting down in a chair with paperwork on the desk. Damien was standing next to him, looking as powerful, confident, and handsome as ever.

  I shook off the thought and demanded, “What’s going on in here?”

  Damien’s brows rose slightly before he picked up the papers in front of Cale and sauntered toward me. As he neared, his eyes ran up and down the length of me where they immediately lingered on my face. Worry etched itself across every plane of his own as he came to a stop. “Are you okay? You look—”

  I cut him off, not appreciating his diversion tactic, “Why are you meeting with Cale without me?”

  Damien seemed as though he was about to argue about my looks, but he sighed. “Cale has just signed over his portion of Adam and Jennings Accounting Services to you.” He handed me the papers. “You now own all the shares in the company.”

  There was no point in trying to mask my shock as I stumbled backward. “What?” I gasped, completely thrown.

  I could understand Damien forcing Cale out of Adam & Jennings, but it shouldn’t be to benefit me. Damien deserved to recuperate his stolen funds.

  “Damien, you should have spoken to me about this first.”

  “It wasn’t your decision to make.”

  “Yes, it was.” I narrowed my eyes at him. “But if this is how you plan to resolve your matter with Cale, then you’ll accept my repayment.” It was the only way to rightfully attain full ownership of Adam & Jennings.

  Damien’s jaw set before he tilted his head at me. “We’ll talk about this later, Raelyn.”

  “No, we’ll talk about it now,” I countered.

  Cale set down his pen and pushed back his chair, so he could rise to his feet. Regret passed through his features when he came to stand before me. “Raelyn, I’m so sorry for what I did to you. You were the last person I ever wanted to hurt. And at the bar…” His face fell with shame. “I shouldn’t have said what I did. It was hideously low of me.”

  “It’s okay,” I said, referring to the last part of his speech, so he wouldn’t elaborate on the subject. I hoped Damien wouldn’t catch wind of Cale referencing my illness. I didn’t want Damien to ask questions when I had no answers for him—especially with my recent…episodes.

  No, it is just a virus or a bug. I tried to calm my inner qualms. There was no time for them right now.

  I felt Damien’s inquisitive eyes on me, but I ignored him and kept my full attention on my former business partner.

  Cale exhaled a long sigh and shoved his hands into the front pockets of his slacks. “Adam and Jennings Accounting Services is now yours. It was the right decision to make, so please don’t fight Damien or me on this.” He frowned. “It was a small price to pay for my wrongdoings, and I’ll always be thankful to Damien for letting me off the hook so easily.” A small smile tugged at his mouth. “Even if I know it was only because he happened to fall in love with you.”

  My heart lodged in my throat, choking me at Cale’s choice of words to define Damien’s feelings for me, when a knock suddenly sounded at the door.

  I definitely am not going to look at Damien now!

  I turned my attention to the door while thanking my lucky stars for saving me from facing the two men standing behind me. “Yes?” I squeaked.

  Kate peeked her head inside and smiled. “You have an unexpected visitor. He said it’s important.”

  Normally, I’d be upset with Kate for interrupting me in the conference room but not today. “Bring him to my office. I’ll be right there,” I said, stifling the relief in my voice at a clear path to escape. I needed to regroup, and focusing on work would give me that.

  Without glancing backward, I flew out of the room and barreled for the safety of my office.

  “Raelyn, we need to talk.” Damien was hot on my heels.

  “Not now, Damien.” I increased my strides. “I have a client who needs to see me.”

  I flew into my office where I grasped the door and set it in motion to close behind me. There was no way I was going to gaze into the depths of those penetrating gray eyes right now. I needed some time to think and calm my raging emotions without Damien near me.

  He barged into the confined space before I could even reach my desk. “That’s the second time Cale has referenced that night at the bar, and—”

  A throat cleared at the door, and I did a complete one hundred and eighty degree turn to see Kate giving me an incredulous look, no doubt from Damien’s loud voice with a client nearby.

  “Uh, your visitor.” She gestured to her right.

  My gaze followed the line of her path.

  “No,” I cried on a broken whisper. I staggered in shock, feeling every ounce of air vacating my lungs.

  From the corner of my eye, I saw Damien rotate to see what had me in such a state.

  “Raelyn, it’s so great to see you again.” Nick beamed, exposing an intimate smile, one he’d reserved for when he told me he loved me or missed me.

  “Who in the fuck are you?” Damien roared with a truly frightening tone, making me jump.

  I rushed to the door with my hands out in front of me in warning, eyes pleading with Kate. “Kate, please see Nick out.”

  “Just hear me out, Raelyn.” Nick pouted and stepped forward. “Please, we need to talk.”

  “No. Now is a really bad time.” I reached for the door myself, prepared to slam it in his face, and I corrected, “Wait. No, we won’t ever speak to one another again. Good-bye, Nick.”

  Nick slapped his palm against the wooden door, halting my efforts. “Don’t run from me again. I’m so sorry for leaving you when you needed me the most.”

  “Stop talking, please,” I cried, realizing Damien’s chest was already pressing up against me.

  Nick didn’t relent. In fact, he continued to ramble, “I don’t know what I was thinking. I was an idiot for leaving you when you were so ill. I-I got scared, Raelyn. I thought you were going to die. Y-you weren’t supposed to survive.”

  That made me feel all rosy inside. Not!

  Damien gently captured my arm and spun me to face him. Too many emotions flickered across his face to place. “What in the fuck is he talking about, Raelyn?”

  No words would come to me, so I could explain what Damien had just heard from Nick. My brain was shutting down. All rational thinking was gone. My past and my present were colliding worse than I ever could have imagined, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I was falling apart at the seams.

  “Excuse me. Who are you?” Nick queried with his infamous cockiness.

  Damien cut him a hard glare. “Who am I?” He laughed menacingly. “Who in the fuck are you?”

  “I’m her fiancé,” Nick stated way too bravely. “Well, if she will still have—”

  “Get out!” I screamed, deranged, at the top of my lungs.

  In the same instant, Damien was on the move, charging straight for Nick, with a murderous look on his face.

  “No!” I tried to shout, but my lungs were empty.

  Damien threw his shoulder into Nick’s chest, taking him flat to the floor.

  “Damien, stop!” I cried.

  I’d never forget the way Nick had crushed me when he left me at my worst nearly ten months ago, but I wouldn’t wish Damien’s lethal rage upon anyone.

  Nick tried to sit up and swing at Damien, but he was too slow. Damien connected his fist with the side of Nick’s face, once and then twice. Each sounded with a smacking thud that resonated through the office.

  Nick slammed his elbow into the side of Damien’s face, but it didn’t slow Damien down, not even for a split second. In fact, it seemed to have the reverse effect and fueled his wrath. Blood droplets poured out of Nick’s nose as Damien delivered each punch with fluidity, strength, and precision.

  I launched myself forward and clawed at Damien’s shirt to pull him backward as Cale came running for us.

  “Help,” I sobbed at
him.

  “Shit, Damien!” Cale threw himself atop Damien, wrapped his arm around his neck, and yanked hard. “Let go, man!”

  It wasn’t working, Damien was too powerful, so I darted to Nick’s head to face Damien.

  I fell to the floor and threw my hands in front of me. “Stop, Damien!” I cried. I knew it was reckless to throw myself into the mix, but I needed him to see me, to look into my eyes, and then maybe he’d see reason.

  Then, my world spun on its axis, and Damien disappeared before my eyes. The whole room went pitch-black as a familiar sharp pain sliced through my temples, striking with such intensity that I buckled over at the waist, feeling blind and helpless.

  “Damien.” I gasped for air, crying out at the unwelcome agony that continued to rip me to pieces, but I was completely at its mercy.

  “My God, Raelyn.”

  I couldn’t see Damien, but I could feel him gently pulling at my limp body to cradle me in his arms.

  “I got you, baby. I got you.” He slowly rocked me back and forth in his arms and pressed a kiss to my hair. “Someone call nine-one-one,” he ordered frantically.

  “No. It will pass,” I slurred into his shirt on a broken sob.

  “She’s right, Damien.” Cale’s quiet voice boomed around me.

  I felt a washcloth being placed along my forehead. I closed my eyes and prayed the coolness would ease the throbbing ache. It felt so good against my flaming skin.

  Cale added, “Just give her a minute. The headache will pass quickly. They always do.”

  “What in the fuck does that mean?” Damien’s tone was full of panic. “What’s wrong with her, Cale?”

  “I-I…” Cale stammered and then trailed off, only to speak again, “It’s—”

  “No,” I cried.

  Damien couldn’t find out like this, and I needed quietness. The chattering noises in my ears were too much to bear.

  After several minutes passed, I released a shaky lungful of air. The pressure in my head was beginning to subside. I blinked a few times to clear the haze out of my vision, and I came face-to-face with Damien. The concern and utter terror etched on his face made my heart falter an unsteady beat. Hidden beneath those heartfelt emotions, I could sense his unmistakable hurt.

  “I’m taking you to the hospital, Raelyn,” he stated.

  “I don’t need one,” I replied barely above a murmur. I already had a doctor, so I wasn’t going to the emergency room to be poked and prodded.

  It was time to acknowledge that I needed to place a call to Dr. Enright. The Mexican food, the night at FireSide Bar, this morning, all the nausea or headaches—none of it could be brushed off as a fluke incident. And I couldn’t ignore the conclusion of where my symptoms were stemming from. Something was wrong with me, and I needed to accept the truth staring me in the face.

  Damien intently eyed me. “Then, you are coming home with me, so we can talk while I keep a close eye on you without any interruptions. And when we’re finished, I’ll be the one to decide if you need to go to the ER or not.” A muscle in his jaw constricted. “Please don’t waste your energy arguing with me because there is no fucking way that I’m letting you out of my sight.”

  A small part of me wanted to protest to delay the inevitable conversation I needed to have with him, yet the other part knew my time had run out. He needed and deserved my honesty.

  “All right,” I agreed with a simple nod, biting back tears.

  Then, I was in his arms where I prayed I could remain forever.

  Damien and I were in his living room. I was standing by the couch, too nervous to sit. Damien stood at the window and gazed out at the ocean. It reminded me of the first day I’d met him in the office conference room—the way he’d rested his arm on the window frame while looking outside, the way his eyes had appeared troubled when he finally turned to face me, as if his mind were completely somewhere else.

  I let out a grave sigh, realizing one always thought about the beginning at the end.

  Damien broke the tense silence first. “Why do people keep saying you’re sick, Raelyn?” He didn’t pause for me to answer. “First, Cale said it in the bar that night you confronted him about stealing from me, and then your ex-fiancé—who I hadn’t even known existed until today—mentioned it.” He dragged his hand through his hair.

  A sense of dread overcame me when he still refused to look at me.

  “Because I am.” I closed my eyes and fought for hope. Then, I remembered I had no concrete answers yet, so I corrected my error, “I mean, I was.”

  “You are, or you aren’t?” His voice was full of hurt, as though I’d kept a dear secret from him and deceived him.

  And to me, I had.

  “Pick one, Raelyn. And I want the truth.”

  “I’ve been in remission for almost seven months.” I forced each word out.

  With an unhurried pace, he pivoted to stare at me. The agony in his eyes was more than my heart could bear.

  “And now?” he choked out. His voice was as broken as I felt inside at the idea of losing him.

  The sight of Damien with tears in his eyes had my heart free-falling into the pit of my stomach. I was terrified of my future—or the possibility of not having one at all.

  “Now, I think it’s back,” I cried.

  He let my admission dangle in the air between us before he quietly spoke, “I’m in love with you, Raelyn.” He gave me a small smile before his expression filled with uncertainty. “Yet you can’t even share your secrets with me. So, how can there be love without trust?”

  “The same reason I can love you and all your secrets.” I stepped toward him on shaky legs, unwilling to accept the doubt in his voice and the unsaid distance he was putting between us. “You haven’t exactly been forthcoming with your past either.”

  “That’s just it, Raelyn. Mine are in my past—where they belong and where they’ll stay. My past has no place in my future.”

  My body sagged in defeat at his response, wanting to give up. I wasn’t sure how I’d expected our discussion to go, but it wasn’t like this.

  “Yeah, well, I wish mine could be in the past, too. But I don’t get that choice, do I?” I spit, angered by the gravity of my statement, as my walls came crashing down around me.

  I’d had no business falling in love. It wasn’t fair to Damien or myself to give our hearts to one another when I had no idea what lay ahead of me.

  Now, I was the one putting space between us as I spun around on my feet and walked away, too overcome with my own grief and reservations.

  “Where are you going?” he demanded at my back. “You don’t get to walk away from me. Not now, Raelyn.”

  I drew my own conclusions as to why we’d kept so many things from one another. I began to shake as I gazed at him over my shoulder. “You’re right, Damien.” Tears streamed down my face. “I don’t need you to trust me with your past, and you don’t belong in my future. Our secrets seem to be our own worst nemeses. I didn’t share mine with you.” Tears gushed down my face, and I struggled to make eye contact with him. “Because I didn’t want to see that look you are giving me right now. I don’t want your pity any more than you want mine.”

  I didn’t wait for his response as I ran up the curvy staircase and turned to the right toward an open door. It was a loft with a navy-blue love seat. I entered the room and threw myself onto the cushions, well aware that I’d left a desolate and confused Damien standing in the living room.

  Alone.

  I felt my body being lifted into strong arms as I came to.

  “I’m still mad at you, you know.” I sniffled angrily into his chest as emotions attacked me from all sides. Deep down, I knew I wasn’t mad at him. I was furious with my body.

  “You can be upset with me all you like, gorgeous girl.” He kissed my temple as he sauntered down the hallway to his room. “But the woman who owns my heart and every other fucking piece of me will sleep in my bed”—he gently laid me down on it and kissed my l
ips—“and in my arms where I can feel her heart beating against my own, so I can remember that, no matter what life brings our way, she’s still mine.”

  His words brought on an onslaught of new emotions.

  “I’m so sorry.” I sobbed uncontrollably. “I should have told you sooner, but I couldn’t.”

  “As am I, Raelyn.” He brushed his thumb across my right brow while lovingly gazing at me. “There are many things about myself that I haven’t shared with you either. I promise that, someday soon, when I’m ready, I will.”

  “I’m scared,” I admitted, overwhelmed by the outcome of our future.

  “I am, too,” he agreed softly, reaching behind him to pull his shirt over his head before tossing it onto the floor. “I promise you, not even my scars that tarnish my flesh and haunt the deepest parts of my heart and soul will keep me from loving you.”

  My vision went fuzzy with my tears. Then, I cried harder at the idea of not being able to see the man who I loved with my heart, body, and soul even though he was right in front of me. It gave me a small inkling of what it would feel like to lose him completely.

  I wouldn’t survive without him.

  A deeply excruciating agony seized every cell in my body, and it wrapped around my heart, stabbing at it, piercing me. I’d never experienced such anguish in my life.

  “Stay with me, Raelyn,” he demanded softly, pulling me out of my reverie.

  Just like that, he’d brought me back.

  With our faces inches apart, he continued, “I’ll be damned before I let any kind of illness take you from me. We are going to beat our demons together. You and me, together—that’s the only way it will ever be.” He took my hands in his and guided them up over his shoulders. “Touch me, Raelyn. Take my strength, and use it as your own.”

  He was finally giving me what I’d longed for, yet I couldn’t bring myself to move my hands in fear of causing him pain.

  “What?” I slowly shook my head. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “You won’t.” He placed a tender kiss on my lips. “The only thing that has the power to hurt me, Raelyn, is the thought of not having you.”